PhD Mum

I’ve lost count of the number of times someone said to me “I just don’t know how you manage to do a PhD and raise a child” during my studies.  And it made me realise that, perhaps from the outside looking in to my life, it did look challenging. I wanted to write this post for anyone who might be thinking of studying, whatever the course. To discuss the multitasking of child rearing and meeting deadlines. The majority of challenges of any course [be it undergraduate, accountancy, PhD etc.] are the same for most parents. If it’s not about the money side of doing the course, it will be about whether or not you can fit it all in and meet the course deadlines. The unsurprising underlying truth of this multitasking challenge is that it is difficult. It is difficult logistically, it is difficult financially, and it is difficult psychologically – particularly if your studying is seen as a “hobby” (as mine was by my family) and if you don’t get a weekly/monthly pay slip for ...

I recently had a job interview for a research post. I got it (which is great news!) but I also got the feedback that I really need to " learn how to sell myself ".  It really got me thinking about the interview process and how it just isn't designed for people like me. I want to be (/I am *must keep repeating to self* ) a researcher. I am good at academic writing (believe it or not from this website 😂). However, there is something innate, call it an internal flaw, that I am just not designed to talk about how amazing I am. Whenever it comes to inevitable "why should you get this job" question, I just freeze. I have attended training days that tell me the sort of things I should  say but somehow between my brain and my mouth, it just doesn't compute. I am sure this is a common diagnosis for many people other than me. But you see, I think my qualities do make for a strong candidate/member of a team: I don't force my view, I take in others opinions...

The short answer is YES, you can! I know so many fabulous people that balance study and parenthood like absolute legends. Don't get me wrong, it is not an easy journey. But it is completely do-able! It's mainly about deciding what works for you and your family. Think of the study as a job, and you will almost certainly pass.  If you are considering a PhD, I thought it might be helpful to describe what my worries were before I started. They can be broadly grouped within 3 domains: work/life balance, money, value. Work Life balance: do I have time for a PhD? You will find there are times when you have to focus on studying (e.g. If you are recruiting or running experiments) and have to be in the office/lab. There are other times that are much more flexible. For this reason you can find you can work in the office less frequently than a standard 9-5 job (and a PhD is a job) -   @mother_pukka  talks about "flex appeal", and a PhD is the ultimate in this. It is ...